And I Stand Triumphant Yet Weeping
by Rethira
Summary: Ieyasu must bring peace to Nippon. It is just his luck that doing so means he will have to kill Mitsunari. Ieyasu/Mitsunari


Oops, I meant to post this last night. This was written for a prompt on the second Sengoku Basara kink meme on LiveJournal. Despite this, it is not kinky in the slightest.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sengoku Basara or any characters therein. I make no money from this.

Warnings: character death

* * *

Ieyasu didn't know when it had begun. The revelation itself had come between one second and the next; _oh_, he had thought, _I love him._ It wasn't like Ieyasu had even been thinking about him. It was simply there, a part of him as much as his spirit was. In fact, Ieyasu was surprised he hadn't realised it earlier. It seemed odd not to have, in retrospect. After all, Ieyasu was well aware that the people he cared about had an effect on him. Lord Shingen had left part of the tiger in him as well as in Yukimura and Tadakatsu had leant Ieyasu far more strength than he could ever name or return. Even Lord Hideyoshi had given Ieyasu something; it was because of Hideyoshi that Ieyasu wanted to bring peace to the land. Yet somehow, Ieyasu had missed this most important part of himself.

He had missed the fact that he was inexorably in love with Ishida Mitsunari.

* * *

It was with a heavy heart that Ieyasu realised that he was going to have to defeat Mitsunari in battle. His very being recoiled from the idea and he desperately wished that he could choose any other path, but it was an inevitable battle. One day soon, he would stand opposite Mitsunari on a battlefield and only one of them would walk away. At that thought, he had wondered if it would be so truly terrible for him to fall, but he knew it would. Mitsunari would only bring darkness and chaos to the country. He would plunge all Nippon into a dark age – perhaps it would not be as dark as when Oda Nobunaga still lived, but Mitsunari would bring darkness nonetheless. Even if he didn't mean to, Mitsunari would be easily manipulated by Otani into creating a world that mirrored Otani's living hell.

So there was no choice. Ieyasu had to defeat Mitsunari and bring peace to Nippon, even if that meant killing the man he loved.

* * *

Magoichi knew. She was an intelligent woman and a strong one; as she had to be to lead the Saika Faction. She had figured it out. Perhaps it had been Ieyasu's vague reluctance when she had spoken to him or his manner when Mitsunari had appeared. Certainly he had been surprised, but there had been something else. Ieyasu had wanted to simply embrace Mitsunari, even though he knew that if he tried Mitsunari would stab him. Magoichi had probably seen it in his eyes or his manner. Perhaps even the speed of his retreat had told her what Ieyasu would never say out loud. However it was she had found out, it didn't change the fact that she _knew._ Ieyasu knew he should be glad that she remained allied with him rather than join Mitsunari. He could not deny that it would have made sense; an ally who loved his enemy was worse than no ally at all. But Magoichi had proved her honour in not deserting him and Ieyasu was going to prove that he was worth it.

That decision did not make Ieyasu feel any better. It did not change his fate. He would have a strong ally and a solid bond, but he would rather re-forge his bond with Mitsunari than create any new ones.

* * *

When Yukimura joins Mitsunari, Ieyasu isn't particularly surprised. Lord Shingen's sudden illness had left Yukimura in charge and he clearly wasn't ready for it yet. Add to that the resentment Yukimura held for Ieyasu, partly because of his defeat on the field of battle and partly because he didn't quite understand his lord's regard for Ieyasu, and it truly was not surprising that Yukimura joined Mitsunari. Ieyasu doubted that Mitsunari cared overly much for Yukimura – or indeed, at all – but he was also quite sure that Mitsunari would take any ally he could get. And if one of those allies was the Young Cub of Kai, who shared a mentor with Ieyasu, then Mitsunari was probably rejoicing. He would see Yukimura's alliance as a statement of its own; they had the same mentor, but they stood on different sides. Mitsunari would never know that when Ieyasu heard of Yukimura's new alliance, Ieyasu wished that he could take his place. He wished that he could be by Mitsunari's side, but he knew he couldn't. There was too much at stake for one man's wishes to be realised.

Even if Ieyasu wished it, he could not deny his nation peace simply so he could chase happiness with Mitsunari.

* * *

On the snowfields of Kawanakajima, Kenshin tells Ieyasu that he can see the fire of the Tiger of Kai in Ieyasu's eyes. But it is a caged fire, banked and held back. Ieyasu knows why that is so. The fire he has been given has burnt low because only one person can rouse it to its full flame and Ieyasu knows that when that happens, it will be on that final battlefield and one of them will not walk away. It is likely, Ieyasu admits, that Kenshin knows what he speaks of. The regard he gives to Shingen might not be quite that which Ieyasu gives to Mitsunari, but it is very close. There can be little doubt about Yukimura and Masamune's own rivalry; the intensity of their rivalry can only be accounted for by as yet unrealised further feelings. Ieyasu is sure that Kenshin knows that, as does Shingen. It is unlikely that Yukimura has figured out what he feels for Masamune, Ieyasu feels, given Yukimura's personality. Whether Masamune knows is a greater question – the One Eyed Dragon is fiercely intelligent and more experienced than Yukimura, so it is entirely possible that he understands that what is between he and Yukimura is more than rivalry.

Ieyasu ponders whether he can rightly call Mitsunari his rival and eventually concludes that he cannot. Mitsunari seems to feel nothing but hatred for Ieyasu, to the extent that all other emotions have been forgotten and all the other rivals of Nippon do not desire the other's death.

* * *

Masamune seems unconcerned about Mitsunari. He wants to defeat him, yes, and that is what drives him. But he does not know if he can ever forgive him. He says it in such a way that Ieyasu cannot help but feel that Masamune doesn't care much either, and is well aware that Ieyasu only asked to help himself. And truth be told, Ieyasu _was_ asking for himself. Masamune is the only other person Ieyasu can ask whose situation comes close to Mitsunari's and Ieyasu's. He too chases after a man for revenge, although in this case it is revenge for a personal defeat, rather than the defeat of the man he swore fealty to. Masamune has not thought about forgiveness and he does not care about it. He simply wants to defeat Mitsunari in battle and that will be his revenge. Once it is done, Masamune will return to his usual rivalry with Yukimura and likely forget that he was ever defeated in the first place. There will be no need for forgiveness.

Ieyasu does not get the answer he wants, but he answers his own question; Mitsunari will not forgive him and Ieyasu will never be able to have that which he truly desires.

* * *

Mitsunari is as full of hatred as ever. It is strange, Ieyasu muses, that he can see the beauty in Mitsunari even through his vitriol. They meet each other with solid punches and lightning fast slashes of Mitsunari's sword. Ieyasu's knuckles are already bleeding and ache steadily; he has not had time to heal since the last battle, and the new skin has been rubbed raw. Despite the pain, Ieyasu still fights, throwing brutal punch after brutal punch and guarding when Mitsunari unleashes his fury. Ieyasu can feel the fire Kenshin spoke of building in him and he wants to quash it, douse the flames and leave Mitsunari alive on this cold mountain. But the fires simply burn higher and Ieyasu's men cheer him on. Magoichi and Masamune are elsewhere, dealing with the other generals in Mitsunari's army and Ieyasu is glad that neither of them are here. He does not want them to see him if he falters, or even if he delivers the fatal blow.

And then Mitsunari's foot slips, just barely, and a punch that he should have blocked lands hard. Ieyasu can feel his ribs breaking, can hear the crack. Mitsunari's face creases with unexpected pain and he chokes, coughing up blood. Ieyasu knows, even before Mitsunari falls to the ground, that he has won. Mitsunari's eyes meet his and then they go dark. He lies there on the ground, nearly pristine in death save for the blood staining his lips. Ieyasu has seen this same scene a thousand times before, although he rarely gave it notice. His method of killing leaves few marks on the body, apart from the bruises. Mitsunari's sword lies beside him, as if he is about to pick it up any second now.

It is only when he thinks that that Ieyasu realises that Mitsunari will never pick his sword up again.

* * *

Ieyasu expects their praise. His soldiers give it freely, awaiting his commands now that the war is won. There are only stragglers to defeat now. Magoichi declares the end of their contract and leaves. Masamune presumably searches out Yukimura and tempts the brash young tiger away. Ieyasu stands over Mitsunari's corpse and wonders if they could ever have had a different ending. He sends his men away with a word and Tadakatsu leaves with a nod. And finally Ieyasu allows himself to remember the beginning of the end.

On the mountain slopes, the Eastern Army call out Ieyasu's triumph, while above them Ieyasu sits beside Mitsunari and weeps for a love that was never meant to be.

* * *

Now I want to play Ieyasu's red path again.

_Rethira_


End file.
